ALICE IN WONDERLAND SYNDROME

Research was successful. Two disorders discovered. Firstly, the rushing thoughts (as explained below - typing the previous post was a particularly strange sensation) is a dissociative disorder. Something about flushing out unwanted thoughts and repressing bad memories but then your brain chooses to take over and make you deal with whatever you need to deal with. Obviously those repressed memories of mine are long gone from my good ol' brain because I'm not feeling like I need to resolve much. Anyways, the other "disorder" I have is ALICE IN WONDERLAND SYNDROME. That may be the coolest sounding name for a disorder I've ever come across. It's when you have mild hallucinations (cool) and a warped sense of the size of your body, i.e. "abnormal amounts of electrical activity causing abnormal blood flow in the parts of the brain that process visual perception and texture". I either feel huge or tiny. Usually about once a month when I'm falling asleep.

These seem to be appropriately related to my [mostly] introverted personality which I spent 2 hours researching yesterday. I'll tell you about that another day, though. I find all this brain stuff very interesting. But this is: the best personality test if you're keen to find out what INTPSXYZ you are. 

CRAZY

Every now and then I go a little crazy. My brain decides to go nuts and my thoughts start shouting and racing through my head. My physical movement feels distorted and, in contrast to the speeding brain activity, seems as if it is too slow. When I talk out loud my voice is stressed and tries to oppose the frantic sensation of my consciousness. It's bizarre. Phew, its slowly getting back to normal now... I'm going to google my 'symptoms' and see if anyone else in the world wide web has experienced something similar.

VERY BORED

I am very bored. bored bored bored. bored. 

MEETING

BLUE

beautiful paintings here

RED

FEELING MARKS

This morning I went to Micklefield to teach the Grade 1 class how to express their feelings (with "feeling marks") on MS Paint for their computer lesson. Bianca is doing her teachers' prac there and asked me to help out. I could see some of the girls were "too cool" to enjoy scribbling on paint when drawing hearts and princesses was more up their alley but others were very cute and didn't want to stop at the end of the lesson. I'd expected them to be more willing to let loose but I think as soon as you reach proper school, the pressure from your peers and the expectations set from what's "good" and what's "bad" begins taking over your childhood innocence. Anyways, here are my favourites:

Alex:

Buhle:

Jemma:

Loren:

Ana S and Kiera

Sanaa:

WINDY

I love you

and you

and you

and you

and you

and you

and you

and you.

EYELY

This MS paint is a bit higgleydy-piggledy and busy in comparison to Lady Skollie's VagEYEnas #2 which inspired it. I don't know her, but she also lives in Cape Town. I came across her blog by accident and enjoyed her minolta photographs, fruity watercolours and genital cermaics. 

  

BOSS

I'm finally getting along with my boss. She's giving me a great amount of responsibility and it's becoming a normal thing for me to go to meetings with clients / contractors without her. I'm still not convinced architecture is the bees knees though.

In other new, CONGRATULATIONS, AYESHA, MISS FULBRIGHT SCHOLARSHIP WINNER! Besides having a brain FULL of BRIGHTNESS, wit and intelligence you are one hell of a friend. I'm looking forward to saving up to come visit you while you are an American scholar. 

THE MONSTER'S OESOPHAGUS

This is The Monster's Oesophagus showing the eyepi-valves. These singular celled organisms (not orgasms, a common malapropism) are used within the gullet as video cameras; recording, storing and connecting emotive reactions to food. In this case, The Monster is eating pink slime and the eyepi-valves are sensing a heightened surge of satisfaction.  

TICKING WRIST

I've been feeling uninspired lately. Unmotivated to paint. I've tried getting one out a number of times but it's difficult breaking away from aesthetic habits that seem to control decisions while doodling. Unless I have an intention from the start, scribbling can become boring when repeating old lines, themes or methods. When this happens what I find helps is to "think until it starts to control". I force myself to trust my intuition and make unconsidered marks that oppose any visual goals. It is the only way I discover new ways of creating and expressing. 

A lot has gone on since I last posted. I've booked my tickets to Ethiopia. And I've moved my office home and am consequentially much happier and procrastinating more!

JUST A DREAM

Miks left a surprise for me.